28 Real Relationship Goals You (actually) Want | EliteSingles (2022)

28 Real Relationship Goals You (actually) Want | EliteSingles (1)

What are the goals you want in your relationship? Recently the term ‘relationship goals’ has become something of a social media phenomenon. Suddenly everywhere you turn in the world of the internet, it’s lit up with some over-the-top, some sweet, some bizarre, some hysterical and some inflated ideas of what a couple should aim for in their relationship. But what should you dismiss amidst all the hype, and what are the real relationship goals you actually want in your life?

At its most basic, a relationship goal is an ideal, lesson, value or experience to aim for in your intimate partner relationship. Instead of being unattainable, it should be inspirational. Relationship goals are best viewed as a loose guideline on how to best give and receive love in your relationship, nothing more and nothing less. Just because you don’t have matching Bentleys, doesn’t mean you can’t be besties!

The relationship goals you want to create in your life focus on fact, not fantasy. Couples like John Legend and Chrissy Teigen have been immortalized in the media for their on-point couple goal imagery, but at the same time have gone on to show the fairytale image can also be a real love story. We break down real relationship goals to commit to, long-term relationship goals to build and, finally, our list of relationships goals for happiness, all neatly packaged together in these 28 ultimate couple goals for life.

28 Real Relationship Goals You (actually) Want | EliteSingles (2)

The Best: Real relationship goals

Two, not one

As a couple, becoming a single entity is an all too easy trap to fall into. All loved up, one can give up your own interest and pursuits, even social life. It is important in any relationship for each individual to maintain their own individuality and independence. Being together enough, you can feel comfortable enough to be apart, with two separate identities in the relationship. #independence

In sickness, and in health

Sometimes things are better, and sometimes things are worse. Sometimes your relationship is well and sometimes it is challenged. Sometimes you’re personally in a good place, and sometimes you’re in a difficult place. In a relationship, to be able to take the good with the bad is a true sign of strength. #allterrain

Lifelong learning

Growing is good for you – good for you as an individual and good for you as a couple. A wonderful way to keep expanding and challenging each other in a positive way is to make a commitment to learn new skills and knowledge together. The relationship goal of lifelong learning keeps your intellect sharp and interests fresh! #learn

Date night routine

One of the most beneficial real relationship goals to nurture is to make a date night and stick to it. Date night keeps your partner feeling like a lover, gives you a chance to give each other some extra attention and establish the relationship as a priority in everyday life. It’s about making time for each other, be that out and about or at home, set the time aside for each other. #datenight

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Handle with care

One of the ultimate couple goals is to really take care of each other. Put each other’s best interests high up in your decisions making factors. Handle each other’s heart space and emotions with respect and like your valued treasure, because what could be more precious?! #handlewithcare

Actively do things for each other

The simplest relationship goal is: don’t take each other for granted! Go out of your way to actively and consciously do, little and big, deeds for each other. #beactive

Honest to goodness

Real relationships are based on authentic people in everyday situations. The best version of you is the real version of you! Our relationship goals are to feel as comfortable in the no makeup, morning breath, sleepy face version of yourself as you do at any other time together #bereal!

Romance never goes out of fashion

Sometimes clichés come in handy. And it doesn’t even need to cost you – do the simple things that will make you both feel loved up. Stargaze, wake up early and watch the sunrise holding hands, have a bubble bath at home. Bring each other breakfast in bed. Be romantic, it is worth the effort. #romance

The trust test

If your partner left their phone within easy reach, and you were alone, would you snoop? Take a peek through their messages, calls or social media? Or are you secure in the reliability of your relationship? One of the fundamental real relationship goals is to have a solid foundation of trust that can stand the test of time. #trust

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Taking aim: Long-term relationship goals

In love lockdown

Developing a mutual sense of security is one to add to the books for long-term relationship goals. Yes, fair enough, in the early days it’s not so simple, but in the long run, you want to feel secure that your love is on lockdown. Like not feeling threatened by other close relationships or attractive people in your partner’s life. #security

Speaking your own love language

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A high point in any relationship is knowing how your partner feels loved… and then being able to love them in that way. Creating ways of communicating which are unique to your relationship also fosters intimacy and connection. Having your own love language is a hallmark of long-term relationship goals! #lovelanguage

The family

When your families automatically include both of you in all the plans and just presume you will be there, you have made it! Part of the family, your couple status is solid! #family

In your own bubble

In long-term relationship goals, creating your own world is one of the stepping stones to that magical place. It’s that intimate ‘only a couple themselves knows’ world – the words you use, the memories only you share, the personal details… As Keane sang, let’s go somewhere only we know. #bubble

Adventure together

Adventuring together breathes fresh air into a relationship. Couples hitting all the relationship goals do new things together. You don’t have to go skydiving to adventure together, but then again, why not? Do new activities, go to novel places, even if it’s a coffee shop down the street you’ve been meaning to try. And if you can travel, travel as much and as far as you can together. Newness and spontaneity keeps your love alive! #adventure

Spoil and surprise each other still

Sometimes do something so crazy and silly, the grand gesture leaves no doubt in your partner’s mind that they are loved. One way to remind your partner that you love them for real, for the long run, is just doing something for them that is ridiculous, over the top and that will leave you both a little breathless. Buy a giant teddy, order 300 flowers, blast a love song outside their window. Every once in a while, make your partner blush with attention and create a lifelong memory. #spoilt


Connect when you communicate – listen, don’t just hear. Hitting the relationship goal high notes is about hearing the real message, not just the words, which are being communicated. Plug into the message below the words. #communicateforreal

Financial forecast

When it comes to money matters, be on the same page! Maybe it’s opening a joint bank account, planning to buy a house together or agreeing who’s responsible for which expenses in the house, but being in sync when it comes to your financial forecast is winning the long-term love game. #moneymatters

Lit up

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Keep your physical connection as healthy as your emotional one. After all, we are physical beings. Send a naughty text message in the day, write a sexy love letter, surprise your partner with candles and a massage… lighting the fire along with the friendship is the long-term relationship goals to aim for! #sexytime

The list: relationship goals for happiness

Fight fair

When creating a list, relationship goals for happiness must include learning how to handle conflict. Every couple will fight at some point. The couples who are winning know how to turn a fight into a communication exercise. Take a deep breath, de-escalate the situation by reaching out and telling your partner you want to hear them more than you need to be right. It will work miracles! #fightforlove

Laugh out loud… a lot

Don’t lose your ability to laugh with each other, and even at each other. Living life alongside another person is bound to land you in some pretty crazy moments. Tell silly jokes, humor each other – laughing together is the glue of happy relationships. #laughalot

Flirt forever after

It’s easy to stop flirting with each other. You don’t need to win affection or impress your partner once you’re in it for the long haul! Pull over and change that perception right now. Flirting keeps your relationship fun; make eyes, tease, have naughty nicknames, pretend to pick your partner up at a bar… use your personal knowledge to take it to expert level flirtation –you’ll both have more fun. #flirtexpert

Future orientated

As much as fun can give your relationship happiness a boost, planning towards long-term goals provides security and sense of achievement that goes a long way to contentment and accomplishment. It also gives the stamp of security that it’s not weird to make long-term plans and affirms that you both see a future together. #forwardthinking

Be besties

On the list, this relationship goal is simple: be best friends. At the end of the day, your partner is your person, they (hopefully) know you inside out and (probably) spend the most time with you above anyone else. As the famous quote says, “love is friendship set on fire”, so build the friendship to set on fire. #besties

Hold hands

Never stop holding hands. This one is also pretty simple. It brings you closer, re-establishes connection and is romantic, all in one. Make it a habit. Don’t stop. If you’re young or old, together short or long. Always hold hands. In bed, on the couch, in the street, in the park, at the shopping mall, under the table, in the cinema… #holdon

Be kind

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Be as generous as you can with your perception of your partner and what you choose to give in the relationship. Give them the benefit of the doubt, believe in the good and go the extra mile to be genuinely kind. Being kind is one of the simple but effective couple goals for a truly great kind of love. #BeKind

Number 1 spot

Prioritize your relationship. Prioritize your partner. Prioritize the moments that have meaning and make memories. #1

Team us

Be in each other’s corner. You are teammates for life, or plan to be. Talking each other up is on point for ultimate real relationship goals. Tell each other what makes you proud of each other, don’t bad mouth them to your friends or family and hold each other in positive regard as standard practice. #team

Safe space

Last but not least, be a safe space for each other. At the end of the day, your partner should be your harbor from rough seas. A real relationship goal for long-term happiness is creating strong boundaries to protect your partner and your love. Have a no judgment zone, an honesty hideout to let it all fall down sometimes, and a trust that can withstand the best and worst of each other.

28 Real Relationship Goals You (actually) Want | EliteSingles (4)

And there you have it – 28 couple goals for happiness. The most important thing to know about the idea of having a list of relationship goals for happiness is that your list should be real for you. Relationships are not a checklist of dos and don’ts for lasting love. It’s not about creating the picture perfect #relationshipgoals for Instagram, but rather creating your own goals based on what is important and true for you and your partner.

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28 Real Relationship Goals You (actually) Want | EliteSingles (5)

About the author: Zoe Coetzee

See more articles written by Zoe Coetzee

(Video) The Myth Of Dating :: Relationship Goals (Part 3)


What are real relationship goals? ›

Relationship Goal #1: Make it through hard times together. Relationship Goal #2: Encourage one another's dreams (both shared and independent). Relationship Goal #3: Have multiple relationships…with the same person. Relationship Goal #4: Become the best versions of yourselves.

What u want to achieve in a relationship? ›

10 Things Your Relationship Needs to Thrive
  1. Kind, constant, and honest communication. ...
  2. The willingness to work through difficulties and disagreements. ...
  3. A sense of humor, some fun, and a bit of distraction from the rigors of daily life. ...
  4. Sharing life lessons with the one you love.
Mar 4, 2013

What are the 5 most important things in a relationship? ›

5 essentials for a healthy relationship
  • 1: Open communication. One hallmark of a healthy relationship is the ability to communicate openly. ...
  • 2: Listening and feeling heard. Having someone listen to us and feeling heard is important. ...
  • 3: Working through disagreements. ...
  • 4: Mutual intimacy. ...
  • 5: Trust.

What relationship goals means? ›

Relationship goals characterize various actions, or couples themselves, that display a depth of connection someone wants in their own love life. These “goals” can be heartfelt or playful, and the term is often used to comment on others' social media.

What are the 3 most important things in a relationship? ›

What Are the Three Most Important Things in a Relationship?
  1. Intimacy. You may think of the sexual aspect of relationship when you hear the word intimacy, but this relational building block covers so much more. ...
  2. Commitment. ...
  3. Communication.
May 28, 2021

What goals should couples set? ›

35 relationship goals all couples should aspire
  • Try to go a few days without needing each other. ...
  • Have daily conversations. ...
  • Strive to become each other's best friend. ...
  • Keep sex interesting. ...
  • Have each other's back. ...
  • Support each other's dreams and goals. ...
  • Do something new once a month. ...
  • Try to resolve issues with maturity.
Aug 31, 2021

What are the top 10 most important things in a relationship? ›

What Are the 15 Most Important Things in a Relationship?
  • Honesty. It's paramount to be honest with both yourself and your partner, says Doares. ...
  • Good Boundaries. ...
  • Good Communication. ...
  • Respect. ...
  • Intentional Love. ...
  • Spending time together. ...
  • Being supportive. ...
  • Being willing to forgive.

What are long term goals in a relationship? ›

Goals that involve your relationship:

Dating exclusively before moving in together or getting married. Be open, and understanding of one another's goals and dreams. Respect each other's privacy. Be honest about your feelings and always let the other person know they are loved.

What makes a man happy in a relationship? ›

To make your man happy emotionally, you have to be attentive to his needs and to know when to give him space. To make your man happy sexually, you have to want to try new things and to be bold and adventurous. But the most important part is that you are feeling happy while you're pleasing your man.

What are 10 signs of a good healthy relationship? ›

10 Signs of a Healthy Relationship
  • You respect each other. ...
  • You trust one another. ...
  • You communicate well as a couple. ...
  • You're both committed to the relationship. ...
  • You're kind to each other. ...
  • You enjoy each other's company. ...
  • You support each other's goals. ...
  • You make decisions together.

What 10 things make a relationship work? ›

Try these 10 things to improve your relationship RN.
  • Ask your partner something new. ...
  • Designate a monthly date night. ...
  • Say “thank you” ...
  • Schedule a check-in. ...
  • Remember the small things. ...
  • Let go of the past. ...
  • Show your affection. ...
  • Learn your partner's boundaries.
Jun 28, 2022

What's the best relationship advice? ›

The Advice Everyone in a New Relationship Absolutely Needs to Hear
  • Keep the Past in the Past. ...
  • Don't Make Comparisons. ...
  • Look at Actions More Than Words. ...
  • Be Vulnerable, Even If You're Afraid. ...
  • Don't Embellish the Truth or Brag. ...
  • Stay in the Moment. ...
  • Refrain From Being Needy. ...
  • Don't Give Up Time With Family or Friends.
Jun 21, 2021

How do you talk about goals in a relationship? ›

How To Talk To Your Partner About The Future Of Your Relationship, According To An Expert
  1. Have A Game Plan. Cloud Studio/Stocksy. ...
  2. Drop Some Hints. ...
  3. Start With An Activity To Take The Pressure Off. ...
  4. When The Right Time Comes To Talk, Be Honest. ...
  5. Be Supportive, Even If Their Answers Aren't What You Wanted to Hear.
Sep 11, 2017

What is most romantic saying? ›

69. Some people say you only fall in love once, but I fall in love all over again every time I see your smile. 70. I thought "true love" was just a fairy tale.

What are the needs of a woman in a relationship? ›

Traits of Relational Sensitivity

Women need men to show kindness, patience, understanding, empathy, and compassion. Regardless of the type of relationship, men and women should be considerate of each other's feelings.

What matters most in all relationship? ›

"Instead, here are the things that matter most for a long-term relationship: empathy, compassion, patience, respect, flexibility, openness." If you have most or all of these in your relationship on a daily basis, you're doing great.

What matters most in a relationship? ›

Trust, communication, gratitude, commitment — these are all vital components of happy relationships. But sometimes, the little things are just as important. INSIDER asked 12 couples to share small things they swear by that keep their relationships strong. Here's what they said.

How do you set smart goals in a relationship? ›

SMART goals are:
  1. Specific – identify exactly what you want. ...
  2. Measurable – quantify your goal. ...
  3. Actionable – make your goal more powerful and easier to action by starting with a verb. ...
  4. Realistic – while it's good to be ambitious and have goals that stretch you, they need to be doable.

What are some relationship questions? ›

These questions can help you get to know a new potential partner (or a fun fling, TBH) super well.
  • What are some of your dreams?
  • Romantically speaking, what's drawn you to people in the past?
  • How do you handle it when relationships don't work out?
  • What's the worst date you've ever been on, and why?
Jul 21, 2022

What are needs and wants in a relationship? ›

A need is something you can't live without, and a want is something you'd like to have but can compromise on.

What are emotional needs in a relationship? ›

And almost all those I interviewed described one or more of only ten emotional needs as being most important to them (admiration, affection, intimate conversation, domestic support, family commitment, financial support, honesty and openness, physical attractiveness, recreational companionship and sexual fulfillment).

What are the top 5 needs of a woman? ›

Obviously every woman is different, but years of research showed that these are what they preferred on average.
Oct 1, 2019

What are a wife's needs? ›

10 Things Women Need In a Marriage
  • She needs to be number one. ...
  • She needs intimacy. ...
  • She needs you to be vulnerable. ...
  • She needs to be praised. ...
  • Let her be part of your team. ...
  • She needs you to protect and defend her. ...
  • Make her feel like her opinion counts. ...
  • Share your life with her.
Aug 12, 2016

How do u know if u really love someone? ›

When you're in love with someone, you'll start to develop strong compassion for them. The powerful urge to be connected to this person brings new aspects to your relationship, such as emotional or physical intimacy, passion, and a desire to know everything about them, and be known by them in return.

What makes relationship last longer? ›

How to Make Love Last Forever
  • Practice forgiveness. Resentment, anger and blame are normal reactions when your loved one does something hurtful. ...
  • Be realistic. Every long-term relationship will have its share of disappointments. ...
  • Develop rituals. ...
  • Listen actively. ...
  • Be honest. ...
  • Fight fair. ...
  • Get help if you're stuck.

What's a man's secret obsession? ›

0. Share. Bauer asserts that all adult men have a secret obsession—a powerful biological drive as intense as hunger, thirst and arousal. He coined the term hero instinct to describe this drive. The hero instinct, in a nutshell, is the fundamental need that men have to feel irreplaceable.

How do you keep your man interested in you? ›

Stay independent while you're in a relationship by keeping up with your hobbies and friendships, and give him the space to be independent too. Compliment him to show that you appreciate the things he does for you, and keep flirting with him to show him you're still interested.

How do you keep a man in love with you? ›

Relationship advice for women: 8 tips to keep your man madly in love with you!
  1. Be his best friend. ...
  2. Be spontaneous and playful. ...
  3. Give him his space. ...
  4. Never bring up his past in fights. ...
  5. Be vocal about what you want from your man. ...
  6. Never go for the silent treatment. ...
  7. Compliment him often. ...
  8. Be wild in bed.
Mar 28, 2017

What are the 3 C's in healthy relationships? ›

Difficult Relationships and the Three C's that Fix Them
  • Communicate. Communication is one of the most important aspects of any relationship, especially a romantic relationship. ...
  • Compromise. This suggestion, in some ways, relates to the last. ...
  • Commit.

How do you know a relationship will last? ›

8 Obvious Signs Your Relationship Will Last
  1. You are Super Comfortable. ...
  2. There is a lot of Trust & Security. ...
  3. You make Time & Respect Each Other. ...
  4. All Milestones are Equally Important for both of You. ...
  5. Reasonable Expectations. ...
  6. You Fight but End up Sleeping As if Nothing Happened. ...
  7. You Motivate Each Other.
May 24, 2022

What is toxic in a relationship? ›

Lillian Glass, a California-based communication and psychology expert who says she coined the term in her 1995 book Toxic People, defines a toxic relationship as “any relationship [between people who] don't support each other, where there's conflict and one seeks to undermine the other, where there's competition, where ...

How do you keep a relationship strong? ›

Relationship tips
  1. Work on communication skills. Strong relationships are built on effective communication. ...
  2. Do regular maintenance. ...
  3. Adjust your expectations. ...
  4. Create rituals. ...
  5. Plan dates and surprises for each other. ...
  6. Plan for roadblocks. ...
  7. Give each other space. ...
  8. Be active together.

How do you restart a relationship? ›

How to Restart Your Relationship for a Fresh Outlook
  1. Introduce A Joint Activity To Your Weekly Routine. ...
  2. Have A Tech-free Weekend. ...
  3. Make A Random Milestone A 'holiday' ...
  4. Have A 'big Picture' Talk Over A Bottle Of Wine. ...
  5. Make One New Couple Friend. ...
  6. Splurge On A Service That'll Give You One Less Thing To Worry About.
Jan 16, 2018

What makes a man open up to a woman? ›

Physical attraction, sexual compatibility, empathy, and emotional connection are key to making a man fall in love with a woman.

What makes a woman happy in a relationship? ›

Surprisingly, researchers said they found that activities, such as sex, socializing, eating, exercising, and watching TV have a much bigger impact on women's happiness on a daily basis than general circumstances, such as income, religion, or marital status.

How will u know if a guy loves u? ›

If a man loves you, the guy doesn't feel the need to question and doubt you. They also doesn't feel the need to be possessive, clingy, controlling or needy. In short, when a man loves you, they trust you. The guy might want to know where you are or who you spend time with, but this isn't out of suspicion.

Should you talk everyday in a relationship? ›

While it's totally fine if you and your boo chat on a daily basis, experts say that — in a healthy relationship — you shouldn't feel obligated to chat seven days a week.

How do I bring up the future with my boyfriend? ›

13 Ways To Talk About The Future With Your Partner
  1. Allow Scary Future Talk To Happen Naturally. ...
  2. Only Refer To Your Hypothetical Spouse. ...
  3. Write Down Your Goals Together. ...
  4. Avoid Grilling Your Partner. ...
  5. Figure Out What You'd Like To know. ...
  6. Don't Read Into Everything They Say.
Aug 17, 2016

What are the 3 types of relationships? ›

There are three types of relationships, and each influences how we love each other and ourselves: traditional relationships, conscious relationships, and transcendent relationships. Each kind of love is specific to the people within them.

What are longterm relationship goals? ›

Goals that involve your relationship:

Dating exclusively before moving in together or getting married. Be open, and understanding of one another's goals and dreams. Respect each other's privacy. Be honest about your feelings and always let the other person know they are loved.

What a man needs in a relationship? ›

Men want love as badly as women do. They just might not always be as obvious about it. But generally, they want the same thing: friendship, companionship, chemistry.


1. Panel Discussion :: Relationship Goals (Part 5)
(Transformation Church)
2. Relationship Goals & Couple Goals For A Stronger Relationship
(Luis Congdon)
3. Major Keys to Marriage :: Relationship Goals (Part 4)
(Transformation Church)
4. FAKE HAPPINESS: examining the social media circus, instagram's effect & relationship goals 🤍
5. Men Are Hunters When It Comes To Dating & Marriage | Motivated
(The Official Steve Harvey)
6. relationship tiktoks you need to watch 💖💑

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